On alert

Jen has now started her maternity leave, save for a few things she’s going to wrap up from home next week.

I’m now also “on alert”, waiting for the call that could come at any time. This phone will be tethered to me at all times. This includes any run, ride, or anything else.

It’s funny, I feel like I’m already adapting to life with a child… can’t go anywhere too far, can’t go anywhere too long. But what I am learning, is that Jen isn’t imposing anything; she’s leaving things entirely up to me and is fine with whatever I want to do. Me: ”Honey, can I go for a ride tomorrow?”, her: ”Doesn’t matter to me, you just need to be reachable and be able to get home in a reasonable amount of time”.

I’m feeling reassured that she’s going force me to keep being me.

On the sidelines

Tomorrow will be the first time I've missed participating in the UBC Tri/Du Olympic-Distance Triathlon. It's needling at me.

Now, to be fair, I'm not missing it because of baby. I'm missing it because I got really busy with work in November and it's only got worse since then. So I haven't had time to train at all. At all.

The situation is needling at me because I'm sad that this is a sign of things to come. I'm missing the rush and endorphins already, and I'm genuinely afraid it could get worse.

I'm very melancholy at the moment, already missing my 'old life'. And after the birthing classes last weekend and this past week, I'm not exactly feeling excited about the first 3 months of fatherhood. I hope it's just stress. It's helpful that I have friends with young kids who have all kept their previous lives alive.